Why Does the Right Wing Have So Much Confidence in Liberals Like Me?

A tactic I have encountered multiple times in the last several months in debate about the war in Iraq is to shift the attention to "Okay, what do we do now?" A fine example came to me in an email from a St. Louis lawyer today:

I am more than a little puzzled by all of this discussion over something that is a moot point. There are many things that we as a nation can do but there are certain things that we simply cannot accomplish and going back in time and revisiting the decision to go to war is one of those. Whether or not we should have gone to war in Iraq, we are there now, and unless we want to turn tail and run, leaving these people to the whims of terrorist factions, leading to the next Afghanistan then we need to focus on what can be done currently to get these people closer to governing and protecting themselves.

In other words, so what if we were lied to and misled into war? Let's not talk about the past - what now?

First off, I frankly do want to talk about how we got into this mess, because there are still people who believe that what the Bush administration did is all just fine. If everyone is in total agreement that Bush's adventure in Iraq was misguided policy from the get-go, then, okay, there's no point in talking about that anymore. Give me a written apology and a few more resignations, and I'll be ready to move on. But, while people are still spreading misinformation and half-truths, the topic is alive and in play.

Secondly, why is it that now the right wing wants me to come up with a geopolitical, military and moral solution for the problem that Bush created? How did that become my job? Why does the country have to turn to Gonemild for a solution - don't we pay a lot of people big dollars to think this sort of thing through - ideally before getting into the mess in the first place?

But, since they've asked, I suppose I'll bail them out this one time - but don't expect this generosity every time Bush screws up, because I have a real job to do, too - one that pays me money.

First off, I would deliver Bush bound and gagged to whatever international court wants to try him for war crimes. Let's see how that process plays out. Personally, I have a little bit of sympathy for the coke-addled, spoiled brat who talked himself into a job he is incompetent to handle, so I'm cheering for him. Not betting on him, but cheering for him.

Then, clear Halliburton and Blackwater out of Iraq, and as many of the private companies as possible over there making zillions of dollars by behaving like testosterone-soaked high school football players. Let the military run the show.

Then, and this one won't be near as popular as the other two - start pumping money into their infrastructure, using their companies and our military (at least until theirs is ready to take over), so we fix as much as possible of what we broke. We'll probably have to increase our taxes by a large multiple to pay for this massive undertaking, but we elected the SOB (well, not really, but that's another issue), so we have to pay for our mess. If we can come up with a way of only taxing the idiots who voted for Bush, so be it, but, probably, we're all going to have to pay.

In conjunction with that effort, we need to learn how to coexist with Islam. Unlike a lot of my right-wing brethren, whose spellcheckers automatically add "ofascist" to the word Islam, I don't believe that we are destined to have an apocalyptic showdown between our respective religious fundamentalists. The vast majority of people know that the fundamentalists of their own faiths are just as wacky as the fundamentalists of the other faiths. Respectable people need to regain power in all countries, and we can work from there. I'm sure that a massive rebuilding effort undertaken in good faith by good people will help start the understanding.

I know this isn't a total solution, and there are going to be a few bumps along the way. But we have a lot of eggs to unscramble, thanks to the current administration, and it's not always going to be pretty.

And thanks for asking, right-wingers. If you have any other problems you need solved, feel free to ask nicely. It's good to see that you're finally realizing you'd be better off asking me, a humble middle-aged guy in Kansas City, than relying on the people who have botched their jobs in Washington so badly.

Shout-out to Readers on the East Side!

My hit-counts have been climbing steadily, but I want to welcome two extra-special new "regulars". Dot and Jackie, from the East Coast of Missouri - glad to have you visiting!!

Kit Bond - Late, Lame and Stupid

Way back in mid-September, I wrote to my Congressman (Emanuel Cleaver) and my senators (Kit Bond and Jim Talent) voicing my concern about a proposal to eliminate the Estate Tax. In a nutshell, repealing the Estate Tax is an expensive tax break for dead millionaires, and one of the most foolish and obnoxious policy proposals so far in the 21st century. My note (read it if you like) was polite, respectful and it was sent on Sunday, September 18. I received a nice note in response from Emanuel Cleaver within a couple days, but did not hear from either of my elected Republican Senators (one of whom I have actually voted for), except for a fundraising solicitation sent by Bond in support of Jim (no) Talent.

That changed this week. Finally, a month and week after I sent my note, Kit Bond responded with the following piece of idiocy:

Thank you for contacting my office with your views on the estate tax. I appreciate you taking the time to share your views with me.

I have heard from other individuals, like yourself, who have an interest in this issue. Since there are so many tax proposals and concerns currently on the table, I have asked my staff to give me a thorough analysis of all tax legislation as we begin this important debate.

You may be assured that I will give this issue my close attention. Again, thank you for your correspondence. If you have further questions or comments, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Sincerely,
Christopher S. Bond
United States Senator

CSB:jdm

You cannot reply back to this message!

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!

Have I really waited over a month to have the Senior Senator from the great state of Missouri - a man who was first elected to the Senate since 1986 - tell me that after nearly 20 years in Washington, he is so stupid and uninformed that he is only NOW going to have his staff (not himself, mind you) analyze tax legislation? In almost 20 years in the Senate, he has never thought about or formulated a position on the Estate Tax?

I hoped, but was not optimistic, that Bond would respond with a substantive position. I knew that he would probably be in favor of a tax break for dead millionaires, since he's a spoiled rich kid who has always sucked off the tit of family money instead of making a living for himself, but I thought I would at least get a reasonable response.

This colossal failure of Kit Bond (exceeded only by Jim Talent's utter no-show on the issue) is also an embarrassing demonstration of Republican incompetence. Any political neophyte knows that job one is keeping the people at home happy. Every small town city councilman knows that you don't ignore correspondence from constituents. Only the most bloated, disconnected and arrogant of legislators would let a constituent wait more than a month for a response like this.

This makes me very optimistic. The republicans aren't doing even the basic things right. Jim Talent's operation is in such utter disarray that they haven't even dashed off a say-nothing response like Bond sent me. The republicans have been in office too long, and they have forgotten the fundamentals of how to serve. They're going down, starting with the mid-term elections in 2006. Say hello to Senator McCaskill.

John Combest Sponsored Link - 687 Miles from Reality

As I've acknowledged long ago, John Combest's website is a daily must-visit for every junky of Missouri politics - he compiles all the political headlines around the state.

I noticed recently that he has a new "sponsored link" - I luv the gov t-shirts. Wondering who in Missouri would be produce such an item - after all, the only people I can think of with reason to "luv" our hilariously unpopular "gov" (33% approval rating - 47th out of 50) are insurance company lobbyists and political cronies making millions off our license renewals - I went ahead and clicked on the link. It turns out that the t-shirts come from Georgia, where the governor has a 57% approval rating.

I hope John isn't charging much for that link . . .

Important Driving Tip

When you are waiting to turn left at a 4-way stop, and the person across from you is also waiting to turn left, it's okay for both of you to execute the turns at the same time. In other words, you clueless idiot, if you sit there stupidly and wait for the other person to complete his turn first, I am fully justified in ramming you from behind.

Not that I would, but I've indulged the fantasy . . .

Welcome Aboard, Paul Morrison

Paul Morrison, the District Attorney (prosecutor) in Johnson County, KS, has decided to switch parties and run as a Democrat against the Kansas State Attorney General Phil Kline. I think this is good news for Kansas, as Kline is nutcase who is spending his resources on sexual witch-hunts, while Morrison is a good, solid man who prefers competence to ideology. It's also good for the Democrats in Kansas, who are showing themselves to be the only option for voters who are not crazed religious whackos. The Republican party in Kansas has been taken over by the far right, and clear thinking people aren't going to stay.

Celebrating the Deaths?

On a lawyer listserve last night, one of the most consistently dishonest members parroted the right-wing talking point that liberals are "celebrating" the 2000th American soldier's death in Iraq. This despicable little lie is popular among those who allow Little Green Footballs and Michelle Malkin to do their creative thinking. Elsewhere, I have fought this nonsense, and wound up having the proponent of this immoral idiocy acknowledge that this is only true if you equate "protesting deaths" with "celebrating" them at "parties". The moral and intellectual vacancy underlying this lie is breathtaking.

I won't use the lawyer's name, but, if you ever need to hire a lawyer in Columbia, I know many others who are good and honest, so, please, contact me. He spread the lie that liberals are "celebrating" this sad milestone, and claimed that I am among those doing so. My response was quick and profane (but soon followed by an apology - no sense in sinking to their level). If you honestly believe that those of us who oppose the war are happy when people die as a result of that war, you sincerely need mental help.

Update: It turns out that what really offends these people is that what the anti-war people is doing is "using the deaths for political advantage". Sounds pretty despicable, doesn't it? By the same logic, I assume that they will soon be chiding their anti-choice friends for mentioning fetuses. I suppose we will next be seeing them attacking anti-death-penalty activists for mentioning the death penalty.

The pro-war people would have us ignore the deaths for their political purposes. But that's asking a little too much, IMHO.

Halliburton, Bush, Clinton, and the NYSE

I was reflecting on the fact that Bush has been pretty much an economic disaster, and that relatively few people have prospered under his administration. An exception, however, is Halliburton. I just ran a chart on the tremendously helpful BigCharts site, and got this comparison of Halliburton to the NYSE. As you can see, the NYSE has dropped since W took office, but Halliburton has outperformed the market during the Bush years to the tune of a 70% rise in value.

Now, let's look at the same comparison during the Clinton years.Notice that the NYSE actually went up about 225%? Halliburton, on the other hand, was outperformed by the NYSE, rising only about 160%.

In short, Clinton was good for everybody, but Halliburton failed to keep up with the prosperity. Bush, on the other hand, has been bad for the NYSE as a whole, but Halliburton has thrived (comparatively). Guess which company has the Vice President?

Cochabamba, Bolivia

I've read that Bolivia is the Nepal of the Western Hemisphere. Never having been to Nepal, I cannot compare the two places, but, if Nepal is exotic, rustic, beautiful, remote, mountainous, fascinating, welcoming, stark, lush, and soul-touching, then the comparison is apt.

As previously posted, my journey to Bolivia came as the result of a wine-tasting at which Robin won a trip for herself. She opted to bring me along, despite my assurances that I would be fine living alone for a couple weeks, watching ESPN and drinking beer . . .


Cochabamba is the breadbasket of Bolivia, and is dominated by a humongous statue of Jesus on a mountain overlooking the city. It boasts the largest outdoor market in the Western hemisphere, where one may buy everything from gorgeous cakes to confetti.


While we were there, we worked on building a schoolroom in the nearby village of Viloma. Robin did tile work for two weeks, learning the skill from a local craftsman without having the benefit of being able to communicate through speech. I did brickwork and tiling, and faced the same linguistic challenges. The work was exceedingly hard on our desk-job, middle-aged bodies, but we were surrounded by the most beautiful children in the world, and we were inspired by the fact that they would someday learn in the vastly improved buildings we were making for them.

"We" were Carl Howard, Leonardo (our guide), Robin, me
and Marvin and Marti Wachs,
, authors of World Wide Wachs and the most devoted volunteers I've ever met.

It was not all work and no play, though. We had time for a trip to the rain forest, which could have served as the setting for Jurassic Park.
The next picture is a nice one, but it doesn't capture a tenth of the unspeakable beauty of the greens, blues and whites of mountain valleys as far as you could see wrapped in mist and clouds. It was the most amazing scenery I have ever seen.

We also found time to learn a drinking/dice game called Alalay, similar to Yahtzee but different in that one plays it in dingy bars while loud music blasts and you drink Gurapo, a peculiar fermented grape juice that fails somehow to rise to the level of wine. In this picture, I have managed to achieve Alalay stardom by rolling 5 fours in one roll, provoking much mirth and an empty pitcher.

The other noteworthy beverage was chicha. Chicha is a fermented maize beer dating back to the Incans. Being somewhat of a beer anthropologist, I was determined to find and taste chicha before returning home. Finding it turned out to be no problem, as countless huts and homes proudly displayed the traditional sign signifying that the chicha is ready to drink - a white flag on a long pole. Unfortunately, Leonardo, our guide, was hesitant to allow me to enter the allegedly unsafe places that served the stuff. On our final Thursday afternoon in Bolivia, though, I pointed out that I am bigger than 95% of the people in Bolivia, and I was not afraid of being unable to fight my way out of any bar in the small village where we were staying. His worries were for naught - we were the only people in the bar. A wizened old lady dipped us a pitcher of the tart beverage (reminiscent of a Belgian lambic, if you're a beer geek) from a barrel, and, honest to God, a chicken ran around on the floor of the bar. We poured a small measure onto the floor - the traditional sacrifice to the Incan gods - and lived to tell the tale.

I was horribly unprepared for the trip, physically, spiritually, linguistically and culturally. Despite my illpreparedness, though, the trip was one of the highlights of my life. I was touched by the beautiful children and wowed by the beautiful country. I knew I would see horrible poverty, and I did, but my expectation was that it would bring a certain moroseness and "edge" to a culture I instead found to be warm and joyful. I fully expect to return.

Avian Flu Tip of the Day - Don't Suck Your Fighting Cock

I was driving to work this morning, listening to KKFI where Amy Goodman was dishing out the radio news on Democracy Now!, when, I kid you not, I heard the following quotation - "people have got avian flu from things like drinking raw duck's blood, which is a traditional delicacy in Vietnam, or sucking the mucous out of the nose of their fighting cock, as happened in one instance in Malaysia."

I almost hit a parked car.

How do you say that on the radio without collapsing into giggles?

Why did the guy admit that's how he got it, instead of claiming he got it from a public toilet seat?

Back From Cochabamba

Much more coming, after I get photos downloaded, etc., but a capsule summary is that the trip was staggeringly wonderful. Met some great people, saw thousands of sights I never expected to see outside of a National Geographic magazine, had experiences that were simply surreal, and lost a few pounds while eating 4 good meals a day.

Wait till you see the pictures (of Bolivia, not my bloated carcass) . . .

Update from Cochabamba, Bolivia

Well, it´s Sunday afternoon in Cochabamba. Things have been wonderful. The people we´re with are fine.

Last night we went out for a fantastic dinner! I had two large pieces of steak, and it was covered with shrimp in a red sauce that was just through-the-roof yummy - in a very nice restaurant - for under $10. Prices here are insane - bottles of wine for a dollar or two, internet for an hour for 25 cents - all kinds of crazy values. If I were fluent in Spanish, I really could see retiring here.

This afternoon, we went up the mountain to a place owned by Taqina, a brewery, and hung out. Bolivians really run with that¨"Sunday is the day of rest" thing, so they have this great restaurant with terraces overlooking the city, with playgrounds for the kids, so the parents can hang out, enjoy a lazy beer, and let the kids run around.

The people here are also fascinating. The little kids are absolutely beautiful - big brown eyes, dark hair, dark skin - gorgeous. The older people have such character - they look like they should all have their portraits hung. And you see so many people walking around in traditional dress - bowler hats, bright colors, shawls, voluminous skirts. It is incredible.

The hotel we stayed in last night has a pretty little courtyard where you can hang out and read. Tonight we go to our worksite, so we´ll be staying elsewhere, and I hear it´s much more primitive, but I´m sure we´ll enjoy it.

It´s fun to experience such a different life. If you look at it one way, this place could be frustrating and a pain in the ass. The traffic is ludicrous and the main sport seems to be trying to find pedestrians to hit. The service in the restaurants is hilariously slow and they serve different people at the table at wildly different times, but, the thing is, you just go with the flow. It just doesn´t matter if you get your food in 10 minutes or not, when the whole country runs at that kind of pace.

I regret not speaking Spanish, but people are kind. I´m trying hard to do my best. I bought a couple diet Cokes yesterday, and I have the guy a 10 Bolivano note ($1.25) for a 7 Boliviano charge. He could tell I was a total gringo because I had pantomimed my question as to whether he had a corkscrew for sale (no, but that´s okay). So he was being slow and patient with me, to the point of counting out the Bolivianos he was returning to me. "Unos, dos, tres," he said, to which I confidently responded, "Quatro." He looked at me confused, wondering if I was demanding more money, until I pointed to my head and explained "Stupido."

So far, we have eaten well and slept well, and seen incredible sights. And I know we´re going to be having so many more great experiences.