Why Does the Right Wing Have So Much Confidence in Liberals Like Me?

A tactic I have encountered multiple times in the last several months in debate about the war in Iraq is to shift the attention to "Okay, what do we do now?" A fine example came to me in an email from a St. Louis lawyer today:

I am more than a little puzzled by all of this discussion over something that is a moot point. There are many things that we as a nation can do but there are certain things that we simply cannot accomplish and going back in time and revisiting the decision to go to war is one of those. Whether or not we should have gone to war in Iraq, we are there now, and unless we want to turn tail and run, leaving these people to the whims of terrorist factions, leading to the next Afghanistan then we need to focus on what can be done currently to get these people closer to governing and protecting themselves.

In other words, so what if we were lied to and misled into war? Let's not talk about the past - what now?

First off, I frankly do want to talk about how we got into this mess, because there are still people who believe that what the Bush administration did is all just fine. If everyone is in total agreement that Bush's adventure in Iraq was misguided policy from the get-go, then, okay, there's no point in talking about that anymore. Give me a written apology and a few more resignations, and I'll be ready to move on. But, while people are still spreading misinformation and half-truths, the topic is alive and in play.

Secondly, why is it that now the right wing wants me to come up with a geopolitical, military and moral solution for the problem that Bush created? How did that become my job? Why does the country have to turn to Gonemild for a solution - don't we pay a lot of people big dollars to think this sort of thing through - ideally before getting into the mess in the first place?

But, since they've asked, I suppose I'll bail them out this one time - but don't expect this generosity every time Bush screws up, because I have a real job to do, too - one that pays me money.

First off, I would deliver Bush bound and gagged to whatever international court wants to try him for war crimes. Let's see how that process plays out. Personally, I have a little bit of sympathy for the coke-addled, spoiled brat who talked himself into a job he is incompetent to handle, so I'm cheering for him. Not betting on him, but cheering for him.

Then, clear Halliburton and Blackwater out of Iraq, and as many of the private companies as possible over there making zillions of dollars by behaving like testosterone-soaked high school football players. Let the military run the show.

Then, and this one won't be near as popular as the other two - start pumping money into their infrastructure, using their companies and our military (at least until theirs is ready to take over), so we fix as much as possible of what we broke. We'll probably have to increase our taxes by a large multiple to pay for this massive undertaking, but we elected the SOB (well, not really, but that's another issue), so we have to pay for our mess. If we can come up with a way of only taxing the idiots who voted for Bush, so be it, but, probably, we're all going to have to pay.

In conjunction with that effort, we need to learn how to coexist with Islam. Unlike a lot of my right-wing brethren, whose spellcheckers automatically add "ofascist" to the word Islam, I don't believe that we are destined to have an apocalyptic showdown between our respective religious fundamentalists. The vast majority of people know that the fundamentalists of their own faiths are just as wacky as the fundamentalists of the other faiths. Respectable people need to regain power in all countries, and we can work from there. I'm sure that a massive rebuilding effort undertaken in good faith by good people will help start the understanding.

I know this isn't a total solution, and there are going to be a few bumps along the way. But we have a lot of eggs to unscramble, thanks to the current administration, and it's not always going to be pretty.

And thanks for asking, right-wingers. If you have any other problems you need solved, feel free to ask nicely. It's good to see that you're finally realizing you'd be better off asking me, a humble middle-aged guy in Kansas City, than relying on the people who have botched their jobs in Washington so badly.