Saved by Beer

According to people who keep track of such things, a pound of body weight is equivalent to around 3500 calories. Also according to people who keep track of such things, a bottle of good beer, like Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, is around 200 calories.

Now, assume for the sake of argument that I have averaged 2 beers a day for the past many years. That takes into account the days that I've been stuck with tea and water, and the days where I've started with a post-golf beer at lunch, and continued on for 12 or so hours of beer-soaked camaraderie. So, don't go getting all judgmental on me, but let's just say I've been sucking down an average of 400 calories worth of good beer a day.

By my calculations, if I had spent the last five or so years drinking water or diet coke instead of beer, I would have avoided so many calories that I would no longer exist.

Think about it. I drink beer, therefore I am.