Thursday, March 06, 2008

Let's Make Recall Day the Ultimate KC Holiday!

Darn it! I had planned to do a thorough, analytical piece about the Funkhouser Recall effort on March 3, the day that the recall petitioners were due to turn in their petitions. Of course, they quit gathering signatures when they realized that the general consensus of the Kansas City populace was to give Mayor Funkhouser more time to fulfill his agenda for the city. While I had mentally calendared Monday for a retrospective on the effort and all the hot air it had generated, even I forgot about the whole thing in 30 days.

It's a sad thing to let such an important date pass without notice.

From here forward, I think that March 3rd should be a holiday in Kansas City. Every March 3, we can gather on Recall Day and remember all the anti-climaxes of the prior year. We can celebrate all those grand days we were promised, but never enjoyed.

March 3 would have been a perfect day to celebrate the October non-opening of the Cordish Power and Light District. The Recall Day Festivities could have included a wistful tribute to Superintendent Amato's plans for the Kansas City Metropolitan School District, cut short by a too-hasty school board. The highlight of the day could be a free professional hockey match and basketball game at the Sprint Center - shown on the jumbo screens, broadcast from other arenas around the country, in cities with anchor tenants.

A wise friend of mine explained Kansas City's penchant for non-accomplishment in the light of history. "Kansas City was settled", he pointed out, "by people who left the East on their way to California. When they got to Kansas City and looked out over the vast prairie separating them from the Promised Land, they said, 'Aww, what the heck? This is good enough.' We are the offspring of people who had a grand plan, but only followed it half the distance."

Recall Day could become the ultimate Kansas City holiday - a civic recognition of the "almosts" that fill up our public and private lives. Two months after New Years' Resolutions, tourists would flock to our city to join with others who haven't gotten around to losing that weight, learning that language, or exercising regularly. Kansas City would be known world-wide as a Mecca for good intentions, bold dreams and persistent non-accomplishment.

Maybe we should circulate a petition to get the City Council to make Recall Day a huge event . . .



Anonymous Anonymous said...

“Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though sometimes checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much.....because they live in that gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

~~ Teddy Roosevelt

3/06/2008 9:23 AM  
Anonymous mainstream said...

So, Dan, what was the point of your post?

I mean really. This is a little bit childish, don't you think? Trying to flick the proverbial wombat on the nose hoping to get a rise out of the poor beast?

If you're trying to start a online fracas, it won't work with me, bub.

The Funk's actual performance should be judged on the merits of what is actually accomplished, nothing more or nothing less.

I mean I could invent, as you have done, ceremonial days of remembrance based upon Funk (et al) antics, but I'm purposely exercising quite a lot of self-restraint here.

Because we're all better than that, don't you think? We can rise above playground tactics.

3/06/2008 11:11 AM  
Anonymous The Voice Over the Loud Speaker said...

In response to the imminent departure for China, by our venerable and unquestioned Leader, Mark of Orange, the City of Kansas City, Missouri is now hiring thugs to serve as the Palace Guard to Empress Gloria, soon to be ruler of all She surveys and considers.

Successful applicants for the Palace will show little or no respect for human life -- especially those born with the dark skin. A documented record of brutality in battle, torment of small animals and/or actual war crime convictions by international courts are all considered advantageous to the (tall,lily-white) applicant. No more West Virginians Need Apply.

In addition, please include a written or recorded essay of 500-2543 words on the following theme: "Mean, degrading and humiliating things I would do to Deann Smith for the entertainment of the Empress Gloria."

Please submit your resume or rap sheet (crayon or blood-written copies accepted) to "Joe" at City Hall, Kansas City Mo.

That is all.

3/06/2008 12:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Geez - lighten up, Mainstream. The people pushing for recall were a bunch of retarded whiners, like Tony, and their complete failure was pretty damned funny. Dan broadened the point to put it into a context of many failures, civic and personal, and came up with a pretty amusing idea to make it into a holiday and tourist destination.

It's certainly not a worse idea than the stupid recall was . . .

3/06/2008 12:03 PM  
Anonymous Not hearing voices, are you? said...

Wow, somebody knows how to cut and paste an annoying and uninformed comment!

It wasn't funny the first time I read it, and it's not any funnier now.

3/06/2008 12:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry Mark, go back to sleep.

3/06/2008 12:13 PM  
Blogger sophia said...

I think that's funny as hell. Thank you for writing it, Dan.

Mainstream, the point is larger than Funkhouser and not that hard to grasp if you can get past your reflexive desire to attack anything perceived as remotely defending Funk.

Kansas City would be known world-wide as a Mecca for good intentions, bold dreams and persistent non-accomplishment.

Play to our strengths, eh?

3/06/2008 12:15 PM  
Anonymous mainstream said...

I'd like to declare March 6th, 2008, and on this day in every subsequent year,

"National Bring Your Wife To Work Day"

(the intention is to only celebrate this on ONE day a year)


3/06/2008 1:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Of course, they quit gathering signatures when they realized that the general consensus of the Kansas City populace was to give Mayor Funkhouser more time to fulfill his agenda for the city."

Do you have some proof of that? A poll or survey? To my knowledge one doesn't exist so I am going to say that it was more like these petitioners had no clue what they were doing and how to gather the signatures.

If a more active or notable person in the community decides to file another petition, it would be a very close call as to whether or not they would get the signatures. I would say yes they would.

3/06/2008 6:25 PM  
Anonymous ray ray said...

why are Latino's voting for Hillary? Is it really a vote against Obama?

3/06/2008 7:38 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Anonymous 6:25 - That's an exact quotation from the petition-gatherers,

Ray-Ray - They like her.

3/06/2008 7:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say we make march 7, spring foot cleaning day.

3/06/2008 8:50 PM  
Anonymous mainstream said...

The petitioners for the recall were incompetent, and deserve to be targets of criticism and parody.

Dan is certainly justified in his remarks, and they were well deserved. However, by making them it, sure doesn't make gonemild bulletproof.

3/06/2008 10:34 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Did you offer to help?

3/07/2008 6:12 AM  
Anonymous mainstream said...

With the recall petition?

Heck no. Dan, I hope I was clear from the get go I thought the recall effort gives the credible Funk critics a bad name.

3/07/2008 8:00 AM  
Anonymous Chris said...

Is this really still on your mind? I mean, that's OK; I'm still annoyed that The O.C. got canceled. But still. Celebratory dancing in the end zone usually doesn't bleed into the next quarter.

3/07/2008 11:27 AM  

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