Friday, January 18, 2008

Second Thoughts on Humor in the Senate?

A Missouri Republican Senator has introduced a bill to make the Jayhawk the official state game bird for Missouri.

Yeah, that made me smirk for just a moment.

And then it made me shake my head. Unfortunately, those of us who are not Missouri Republicans are cursed with these things called "second thoughts", and they take the humor out of many such things that seem okay on first impression. Here are just a few of those kinds of thoughts that apparently never flickered across Senator Clemens' mind.

- Humor about shooting rivals really isn't all that funny, particularly in light of the bloody history of the Missouri/Kansas border wars.

- You've just blown your party's opportunity to argue that anything whatsoever the opposition introduces is a waste of time and Senatorial resources.

- After your party has decimated MOHELA and damaged the ability of average Missourians to pursue education at Mizzou or elsewhere, it's ironic to see you rallying around Mizzou sports instead of Mizzou academics.

- Proposing that Missourians be able to hunt fictional birds reminds many of us that your party has a penchant for trying to stir up trouble based on chimeras, such as gay weddings and activist judges.

- Will Cheney be invited on the first hunt? Will Senator Clemens go hunting with him?

- I'm a Mizzou fan, but, let's face it, Saturday's basketball game against KU is not necessarily going to be a Mizzou win. When #71 is suiting up against #1, a humble and hopeful determination is a better tool than a loud mouth.

Senator Clemens, I appreciate your attempt at expressing pride in our state's flagship University, and I can understand why republicans would rather talk about other things than the 100,000 kids they deprived of health care, but I don't think humor is really your strength, either. Maybe you should have thought twice about your bill . . .

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Anonymous GMC70 said...


As a Kansan, this is easy.

Lighten up. Not everything is earthshaking or world-ending. Life's too short to treat everything as a crisis.

The silliness about "humor about shooting rivals really isn't all that funny" is silly; just about as silly as renaming the game the "border showdown" rather than what it is - the "Border WAR." This is about as silly as parents who refuse to let their kids play cowboys and indians for fear of growing some attachment to guns. Uh-huh.

Besides, the only reason MU won the last game was the clock ran out. If KU had played in the first half the way they played in the second, the outcome would have been different. But that's a lot of would haves, and it didn't turn out that way, and MU won a hard-fought and deserving win. And congrats on pasting Arkansas in the Cotton Bowl. A great season, and well-deserved.

Surely you have som more pressing complaint . . .

1/18/2008 9:38 AM  
Blogger whistleblower said...

While I'm sure the Senator was merely attempting to inject a little humor, he did take the time to write this up; and that should upset his constituents.

A couple of years ago I submitted an artisan's lien law to my Senator. A law that would have offered some statutory protection for many small businesses in the state. While Missouri does recognize an artisan's lien at common law, it does not provide protection against retaliatory action after the possessory lien is perfected. For those that don’t know; an artisan’s lien is much like a mechanic’s lien on your car. If you don’t pay for the parts and labor, you don’t get your car back. Many states have adopted statutory artisan’s liens to protect people like dry cleaners, computer repair shops, furniture repair shops, etc. If you give it to them to repair, and they repair it, they have the right to keep it until you pay for the repairs.

You know what my Senator did with the law that I submitted to him? Not a damn thing. That’s why this kind of BS really pisses me off. We have plenty of important things for our legislators to be working on. Maybe I should send my proposal to Sen. Clemens; he apparently doesn’t have anything useful to submit.

1/18/2008 9:56 AM  
Anonymous KU Sucks said...


I'd suggest you learn to read. Dan acknowledged a smirk, and said he appreciated the attempt at humor. Where is anyone saying it's earthshaking or world-ending, outside of the voices in your head.

1/18/2008 10:10 AM  
Anonymous GMC70 said...


I know you haven't had the benefit of a KU education, but even a K-State grad, or gosh, even an MU grad, CAN indeed learn to read. Try. I'll be patient as you sound out the words.

Dan's words were:

"Yeah, that made me smirk for just a moment.
And then it made me shake my head."

While Dan acknowledged a "smirk," he then proceeded to list some things that, to Dan, anyway, (and I quote) "take the humor out of many such things that seem okay on first impression."

Dan then proceeded to tell us why such a resolution is a sign of the end of the age.

You do understand the words "take the humor out," don't you? Perhaps your childhood was shattered by playing with cap guns, or, God forbid, someone in your childhood pointed a finger at you. I can understand how that would so deeply effect a soft mind such as yours.

Why I guess, Dan, you were right; we can't tell any jokes about shooting rivals; it's "for the children." Or, in this case, our addled friend here.

1/18/2008 11:26 AM  
Blogger emawkc said...

Good post Dan, now instead of Dirtbag Dan, we can call you Downer Dan.

Nothing seems fun anymore. I'm going to go stick my head in a bucket of water now.

1/18/2008 11:42 AM  
Blogger Dan said...


KU Sucks was closer to accurate than you were. I never said it was the end of the age, earthshaking, or world-ending - it simply wasn't that funny.

Since two of my three posts today were definitely on the light side, I certainly don't need a KU supporter to tell me to lighten up - that's advice better spent on your football coach.

1/18/2008 1:32 PM  
Blogger Ambitious Fledgling said...

Actually I thought that was pretty darn funny.. but this was funnier..
"Will Cheney be invited on the first hunt? Will Senator Clemens go hunting with him?"

1/18/2008 9:25 PM  
Anonymous Ray Ray said...

Dan, your partisonship is why more and more voters are becoming indipendent. Anyone who can take something as funny as this and insert party politics is sad.

1/19/2008 9:07 PM  
Blogger Dan said...

Ray Ray -

Wow! If the result of my pointing out the weakness of a Republican's lame attempt at humor is that more and more voters will attempt to think about how they vote, I feel like I've really accomplished something. Thank you!

Good luck with your "indipendence"!

1/19/2008 11:07 PM  
Blogger Ambitious Fledgling said...


Hey.. just how many days do you think you get off mister? =)

1/20/2008 10:14 AM  
Anonymous Ray Ray said...

Dan, the true sign of an 'geek' on message boards is correcting spelling/typing erros of posters. Usually its used during an echamnge with another poster who they disagree with and like name calling, its pathetic

1/20/2008 6:30 PM  
Anonymous AF said...

...uhm.... but it's really funny anyway. =)

Hey Dan, can you make it?

1/21/2008 1:02 PM  

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