Thursday, December 22, 2005

"A Fine Tune" Just Doesn't Understand

One of my favorite Kansas City bloggers, A Fine Tune, recently posted a snarky piece implying that the fan who obtained a restraining order against David Letterman is mentally ill.

A Fine Tune just doesn't get it. I believe the fan.

But then, I've been stalked by stars much of my life. It's an experience you might find unbelievable until it happens to you.

For me, the nightmare began when Olivia Newton John began to express her yearnings for my high school self. It started out with the disturbingly direct "I Honestly Love You". After that, she tried to lighten up and take the cute and sweet approach, with the perky "You're the One that I Want." My high school years were ruined, as most high school girls refused to date me, presumably because they were intimidated by ONJ's constant attention (though they never admitted that was the reason . . .).

Eventually, ONJ relented, but similar instances have arisen over the years. Selma Hayek tried to ruin my marriage, and space and tact won't permit me to explain the painfully confused time that I helped Melissa Etheridge through.

Just because you haven't experienced the unwanted attention of a superstar, A Fine Tune, don't dismiss those of us who do . . .


Anonymous anonymous me said...

Me again . . .

Boy, Dan, I know how you feel. It was so difficult prying myself away from Katherine Zeta-Jones. If my wife only knew the lengths she went to to try to get close to me. Thank God that weasel . . . er . . I mean . . nice Michael Douglas guy has her tied up.

Not that I think about Katherine Zeta-Jones tied up, or anything like that. Not at all . . .

12/22/2005 5:12 PM  

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