Monday, January 12, 2004

The Reagan Dime

Conservative Republicans want to replace FDR's portrait on the dime with Ronald Reagan's. It takes a special kind of stupid to make such a proposal. According to reports, 80 congressional Republicans are just that kind of stupid, and have agreed to cosponsor this little gem.

Look. I hate to do this. He's a dying, confused old man. Even though his administration was a cesspool of corruption (30 members of his administration went to jail!), we all kind of believed him when he claimed not to know a thing about it. Even though he ran up deficits that would make even George W. Bush envious, he did so in a genial fashion. Even though he fought the war on drugs by cutting treatment programs and increasing jail sentences, we all knew he'd be a good guy to have a drink with. The man joked about starting WWIII into a live microphone, and we laughed along with him, for Christ's sake!!!

In fact, despite the failures of his administration, nobody really complained when his minions named an aircraft carrier after him, and a building in DC. But, perhaps inspired by the penis-enlargement spam they have failed to ban, the right-wingers have to take their couple inches and make it a mile.

I won't even discuss the horrible judgment of trying to divorce FDR, the father of the March of Dimes, from the dime. Perhaps if they were going after Sacajawea's dollar or some ridiculously high-denomination currency (the kind that only Republicans and drug dealers see on a regular basis), they could have pulled it off. But, in their blind arrogance, they blundered into the kind of money that even the commoners get to handle.

The main reason I should not have to carry Ronald Reagan in my pocket is that he, more than anyone else, is responsible for the dumbing down of the presidency. Whether people liked or disliked prior administrations, we had never before had a president whose IQ was a kind of national inside joke. We had never before accepted the model of government that the genial and blandly uninformed Reagan delivered to us - one where we trusted that the hard work of government would be done by professionals behind the scenes. When the Iran-Contra scandal blew up, we weren't mad at Reagan himself. We didn't attack the man for the misdeeds of his minions - we expressed mild disappointment that his loose management style had allowed people like Ollie North access to the full power of the United States of America. North, not Reagan was the bad guy.

That model has returned to the White House, and, once again, America is paying the price. In a few years, we all know that some of W's handlers will find themselves in the penitentiary for making themselves wealthier than they already were through insider contracts and back-room deals, but Bush himself will be throwing out first pitches in major-league stadiums and enjoying his return to life as a privileged idiot - Reagan's gift to the American populace.

Reagan never had a buck stop at his desk. Now they want to put him on a dime.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

We may not need a Reagan dime, but we sure do need another Reagan right now.

9/09/2009 11:15 AM  
Blogger Dan said...

That's hilarious. Reagan was the worst president of the 20th century.

9/09/2009 9:42 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home