It's a Rural Thang

In further proof that Missouri truly is a red state, it turns out that a significant number of Missourians are "noodlers" - people who "jump into rivers and creeks, then reach into bank crevices or logs in search of catfish, wrestling barehanded with what they grab — sometimes snapping turtles or snakes — all while holding their breath underwater." They're mad because the Missouri Department of Conservation has given them a temporary season to indulge this previously-illegal urge, but they are restricted to three rivers, two of which, they claim, are no good for noodling.

If you're keeping score, that means that here in Missouri, you're a despicable oddball if you want to spend the afternoon snuggling with someone of the same gender, but you're A-OK if you want to jump into a muddy river, blindly stick your hand into a log and wrestle whatever you find. That's normal.