Sunday, August 29, 2004

Bye, Sam

At the unholy hour of 5 a.m. yesterday, Robin and I hugged Sam goodbye and left him to the security guards and flight attendants. Last night, he slept in Manhattan. A whole new stage of life has begun, for him, for us, for his sister.

What advice do you give in a situation like this? I fear I fumbled the ball, since the wisest thing I could come up with was something I passed on from my father - "Women are like street cars; if you miss one, there'll be another along soon, and after midnight, they're a lot faster."

What advice should I have given him, if any?

Regarding studies, he knows he needs to maintain a 3.7 GPA to stay in the University Scholars program, which will send him abroad and give him other outstanding opportunities. He's always been self-motivated and moderately competitive. I told him to make sure he makes it to class, but I'm not very worried about him playing for a semester, the way his father did.

Regarding women, I think he's pretty well-grounded, as well. He has always respected women and been a good friend to many of his female high school classmates. His best relationship in high school was a platonic one with a bright, strong young woman who will also be studying in NYC.

Regarding drugs and alcohol, I believe he is fairly well-grounded there, too. I don't expect him to be angelic, and I know he wasn't totally angelic in high school. I don't want him to be stupid or unlucky, either, and he was neither in high school. I am confident he has refused opportunities to drugs like ecstasy and cocaine, though this is not an area where we communicate as well as we should. I hope and believe he is too smart and motivated to allow himself to be self-destructive.

What advice should I have given him? What advice do you wish you had when you were 18?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

No advice needed. Let him know you're always there but you've had your time to raise him up, and now it's his turn to prove to you what a good job you did.


8/29/2004 2:45 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to agree with dolphin, you've done your job. I don't know what other adivce I would have taken(or even listened to) at 18.

Keith Sader.

8/30/2004 7:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No advice, I think. If you had not given him the advice earlier it would be too late now anyway, or? :)



8/30/2004 2:53 PM  
Blogger Michael said...

What advice do you wish I had when I was 18? Trust God, trust your heart, Trust your gut.

8/30/2004 6:23 PM  

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