Bye, Sam

At the unholy hour of 5 a.m. yesterday, Robin and I hugged Sam goodbye and left him to the security guards and flight attendants. Last night, he slept in Manhattan. A whole new stage of life has begun, for him, for us, for his sister.

What advice do you give in a situation like this? I fear I fumbled the ball, since the wisest thing I could come up with was something I passed on from my father - "Women are like street cars; if you miss one, there'll be another along soon, and after midnight, they're a lot faster."

What advice should I have given him, if any?

Regarding studies, he knows he needs to maintain a 3.7 GPA to stay in the University Scholars program, which will send him abroad and give him other outstanding opportunities. He's always been self-motivated and moderately competitive. I told him to make sure he makes it to class, but I'm not very worried about him playing for a semester, the way his father did.

Regarding women, I think he's pretty well-grounded, as well. He has always respected women and been a good friend to many of his female high school classmates. His best relationship in high school was a platonic one with a bright, strong young woman who will also be studying in NYC.

Regarding drugs and alcohol, I believe he is fairly well-grounded there, too. I don't expect him to be angelic, and I know he wasn't totally angelic in high school. I don't want him to be stupid or unlucky, either, and he was neither in high school. I am confident he has refused opportunities to drugs like ecstasy and cocaine, though this is not an area where we communicate as well as we should. I hope and believe he is too smart and motivated to allow himself to be self-destructive.

What advice should I have given him? What advice do you wish you had when you were 18?