"a bigger way of thinking about them"

I've been told that gay marriage is about money and benefits. I've been told that gay marriage is about "rubbing our face in it". I've been told that gay marriage is about the degradation of American society.

Consider the voices of the children of gay couples. "It was so cool," said Gabriel, 13, who served as the ringbearer, after standing in line overnight with his parents. "I always accepted that `Yeah, they're my moms,' but they were actually getting married. I felt thick inside with happiness. Just thick."
. . .
From another child:
"It is something I always wanted. I've always been around people saying, `Oh, my parents anniversary is this week.' It's always been the sight of two parents, married, with rings. And knowing I'd probably never experience it ever."

That changed in the City Hall rotunda as his mothers exchanged vows. "The atmosphere was just springing with life," Alex recalled. "I just couldn't hold myself in. It was oh my god oh my god oh my god. I felt so happy I wanted to scream."
. . .
Another:
"I don't think they can take it away," said Alex Morris, mulling over a possible constitutional amendment. "Maybe they can go into the Hall of Marriages and rip up the papers. But emotionally, they can never take away the feeling that my parents are married."
. . .
Another:

"Before it was, `Oh, your parents are just partners,' " said Max Blachman, the 13-year-old son of lesbian parents in Berkeley. "Now, they're spouses. So it's a bigger way of thinking about them."
. . .
Yes, indeed, Max, it is a bigger way of thinking about them. That's the problem. Some people are afraid of "them". Whenever somebody needs something to bring a group of people into line, all that person needs to do is identify a "them". This time, the right wing has decided that your parents are a convenient "them". I'm happy for you that, despite the right wing's best efforts, for what may be a brief period of time, your parents have become married, and that you and other children have experienced such joy.

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